bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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