Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
