Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
