he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
