dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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