He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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