your room smells of hookers.
And success
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
