I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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