I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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