Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
