I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
