found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
