we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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