guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I had to cum in my sink.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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