I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
