Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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