$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
