Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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