I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
