your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
