you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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