I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
