he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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