What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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