you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
