went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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