Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
