she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
