and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
