Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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