I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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