My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
