You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
