I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
