My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
is wine microwaveable?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
