was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we're making bets on your personal life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize