Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
