I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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