I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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