Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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