At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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