I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
