you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Damn victory sex feels great
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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