i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
