I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
