Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
