She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
