Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
