what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
