I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
