some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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