When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
