Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
