OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
