There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
