So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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