I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
