Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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