I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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