oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
