once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
