you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
third nipple confirmed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
