I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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