Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
