How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
