I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
