We need to rekindle our bromance
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
