grandma shit on top of the toilet
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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