Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
