Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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