You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
