is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
